Sexy sayings and inuendos in Spanish the Top Ten
TO WET THE DOUGHNUT: Yes, churros: those long, thick doughnut sticks we all love to dunk in chocolate and put in our mouths. Like most stick-shaped food, churros are euphemistically used to described a man's Johnson. 'Mojar el churro' means to have sex.
TO KICK UP DUST: If you want to get down and dirty with someone, then it could well be time to 'echar un polvo', or have a good old-fashioned shag. Saddle up folks.
TO RUB THE SPRING ONION: No brownie points for guessing what the veg is meant to represent. 'Arrimar la cebolleta' is an expression used to describe close physical contact between two people, kind of like dry humping.
TO GIVE YOURSELF THE STRAW: Despite what you might think, 'hacerse una paja' doesn’t have anything to do with going for a roll in the hay. Instead this is one of the most common slang expressions for masturbation.
TO GO ON THE ICE CREAM CONE DIET: 'La dieta del cucurucho', as it is called in Spanish, is usually followed by the words 'comer poco, follar mucho' (Eat little, have plenty of sex). Whether eating wafer biscuits while engaging in tantric sex is scientifically proven to help weight loss we don’t know, but this funny rhyming expression is used a lot by Spaniards when joking about dieting.
TO THROW THE JUNK AT SOMEONE: It might sound a tad aggressive but 'tirar los trastos a alguien' actually means to flirt with someone in colloquial Spanish.
TO SHOW SOMEONE WHERE CUENCA IS: Legend has it King Philip The Handsome of Spain (1478-1506) had an observatory built for him to look out at cities surrounding Madrid on the horizon. It also doubled up as a love nest where he could keep his affairs hidden away from his wife Juana The Mad. As he escorted one young lady up the tower, he reportedly told guards “la voy a poner mirando a Cuenca”. They read between the lines and popularized the expression with its new hidden meaning: to have sex 'doggy style'.
TO PLAY THE 'ZAMBOMBA' DRUM: Watch pop-jazz star Jamie Cullum play the Spanish friction drum known as the zambomba (darle a la zambomba) and you will understand where this expression for masturbating comes from.
TO TAKE SOMEONE TO THE VEGETABLE GARDEN: Much the same as what taking a roll in the hay implies in English, ‘Llevar a alguien al huerto’ means to lead astray in the sexual sense.
TO THROW ON THE HELMET: A variant on ‘to kick up dust’, to ‘echar un casquete’ means something like to screw someone. Suffice to say it’s not the most romantic expression for sex ever, in Spanish or in any other language.